


If You Forget Me

by cherikberry (puckp95)



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Charles is Oblivious, Erik is a dramaqueen, Fantasy AU, I am sorry I swear I will get back to my WIPs, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, tumblr drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-16 11:53:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16085576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puckp95/pseuds/cherikberry
Summary: Erik makes assumptions about love and belongingness that make him leave the only home he has. Originated as a tumblr drabble, decided to continue it.





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooo, this is a consequence of my Tumblr adventures. I do not know how to post different parts in continuation there because I am an old person and technology bamboozles me. 
> 
> I am so sorry about my WIPs O.O Now that I have time again, I will get back to them pronto.

Erik Lehnsherr, Last of the Dragonborn, the Bane of the Rhakshas and the the Indomitable One, was sulking in the balcony. Inside, the festivities continued with great splendour. Sounds of revelry warmed the cold night of the winter solstice. Erik should have been inside partaking in the feast and consuming copious amounts of liquor, dancing with whoever caught his fancy in an elaborate game of pleasure. Tonight was dedicated to the senses, to love that was the source of regeneration and renewal. But he found himself outside, attempting to calm his traitorous heart as it attempted to beat out of his chest. The cold helped, so did the silence. That is why he was here, away from the king who danced gaily inside, with his wine stained lips and sapphire eyes. Who with every kiss he shared with strangers and fawning admirers seemed to move away from Erik, leaving behind only a dull ache in its wake which even the night’s chill couldn’t numb. The king had found him when everything was lost. When he felt he would always be angry till he managed to reduce the world around him into dust. He had found Erik, tempered his fire, talked him into serenity with his ridiculous and naive ideals, his unshakeable passion and his capacity for love. For the first time in years, Erik had a place where he belonged, for the first time in years he was not alone. And yet, here he was, pining for Charles, wanting him and desiring him so keenly it made his heart hurt. He pushed himself off the railing, it was not his place to demand more than he had been given. He had yet to learn how to touch something beautiful without ruining it. Charles deserved better, he would always deserve better. He walked into the warm atmosphere of the ballroom, trying to soften his features to suit the mood of the dance. He snatched a goblet of mead from a passing server and pushed his way past the general crush of the room to get a better look at the dancers. Charles was there, as was wont to be, dancing with Moira, the Captain of the Guard. He was flushed with exercise, his eyes bright and his expression incandescent. He was so utterly beautiful as he spun Moira around laughing, that Erik’s breath caught. He let himself enjoy the moment, ignoring the sweaty press of bodies around him and any offers to dance. It was his, this moment, a perfectly selfish moment that would sustain him through his absence. The dance ended with much applauding and the dancers dispersed among the crowd to wait for the next set. Charles turned away from Moira, bowing before her in an exaggerated sweep, only to meet Erik’s eye. His face lit up brightly as he waved at him and began to walk towards him, swaying slightly. 

Erik could not help the smile that tugged at his lips. He prepared for an armful of drunk and consequently even more affectionate Charles, when War Duke Logan caught Charles by the waist, ostensibly to ask his him for the next dance. Anger almost blinded him as he prepared to rip the offending hands from Charles’s body. He walked towards them with purposeful steps only to be stopped by the expression on the King’s face, it was confused yet it was happy. Excited. He could see Charles nodding his assent, and the satisfied smirk on Logan’s face as he bent to press a kiss on his lips, to the general hooting of the crowd. Erik let the crowd push past him, he drew away from the gay scene unfolding in front of him. What part did he have in it. He stalked towards the exit, ignoring Emma as she called out his name. His chest hurt, his bones hurt, he felt as if something held his lungs in a vicious grip. Yet, and yet he turned back to take in the scene one last time, Charles seemed to be scanning the crowds as he hung from Logan’s arm for balance, ignoring the other man’s questioning look. Even from the distance, Erik could imagine he could discern the disappointed pout on Charles’s face. For a moment he fancied going back, but no, that wasn’t what the stars decreed. It had been three years since they first met, He knew Charles, and if there was any hope, he would have seen it. The king was not one to shy away from conquests. Erik would be a passing interest in a long line of curiosities, he thought to himself bitterly. Charles Francis Xavier, the King of the Seven Realms, the Breaker of Chains, the Seer of Nalanda, and the Sentinel of Light, did not need him anymore. He had no part here at all.

At the crack of dawn Erik saddled his horse and rode for the Outlands.


	2. 2.

Erik stopped near a stream to give Magneto, his charger, a well deserved break. They had been riding since morning, without a pause. The warm autumn sun and the sharp smell of tree sap were a welcome change from the metallic smell of armour and blood they had been surrounded by the past couple of days. Since he had left the palace almost a year ago, he had taken to helping outlying villages build up their defenses against Rakshas raids. It gave him a modicum of peace to know that they wouldn’t be as helpless in the face of an attack as his own people had been. He would make sure no one ever was. The Rakshas had become bolder over time, small groups kept infiltrating the border with increasing frequency. Not daring to enter the main kingdom yet and explicitly violate the terms of the treaty. Worse there were rumors of Shaw’s return. Impossible though such a thing might be, Erik had been a hunter too long to ignore whispers. It was time to write back to the capital.

Erik had avoided large towns deliberately during his journey. He knew that people back hom..the palace would look for him. He was not ready to go back. He would go back someday, but not tomorrow or the day after. He carefully guided Magneto through the crowded streets of Gaya, attempting to locate the post master. He addressed the letter to Raven, stamping it with his own signature and seal to validate its veracity. She would let the King know. His heart twinged slightly in his chest, it had been a year, since he had any news of him. Or Raven or Emma or any of the ridiculous misfits they had managed to collect along the way. He hoped that they were well. He hoped he was well.

Lunch at an inn was a simple but sorely missed affair. Erik sat at his table, digging into his food with an enthusiasm he had not thought possible. To his left sat a couple of Genoshan soldiers and a scholar. Probably on his way to Nalanda, the famous university, not quite a day’s ride from the city. He turned away from them slightly, but could not help overhearing their conversation.

“It has been a long courtship, the entire palace had been speculating for months now. It will be a very advantageous match, that is for sure” the scholar informed his company gravely, “my fiancee told me so, she works under Lady Pryde”

“Marvelous!!” the dark haired soldier exclaimed, “I have always wanted to attend a royal wedding, my grand da told me that they feasted for days! The entire kingdom was invited to attend”

“Who knew that our gentle king would take up with the War Duke. The man has a fearsome reputation”

Erik could feel his heart thudding in his chest, he felt distant from reality. Conversations around him went on as usual but he could hear nothing. The food in his mouth was suddenly ash. Charles was going to get married, Charles was in love, Charles was now forever beyond his reach. He hadn’t realized that he was still holding on to hope till it was gone. He stood up abruptly, his chair screeching as it was pushed back. He ignored the stares, he calmly put down the payment for the food and started to move out of the door, his vision felt a little blurry, he had to get out from the suffocating room. He couldn’t breathe. When the black haired soldier exclaimed his name out loudly, he merely ignored him and left.

He rode hard till he could finally breathe. Then he stopped his horse in the middle of the forest and knelt in front of a large banyan tree. And he wept. He stayed thus till the sun finally set and Magneto nudged him softly with his nose and licked him out of his stupor.

Lately Erik wondered if he would ever return home. His bones ached in the cold winter wind. He was tired. He missed his family. The palace would be alive with festivities right about how. Especially with the impending wedding. Perhaps he could go home, meet everyone. See Charles again. He would learn to live, he had learnt to live. He tucked the furs that the villagers had given him closer to his body to preserve heat. His watch was nearly at an end. An errant band of thieves had taken to harassing the villagers here. Since his arrival, nearly a fortnight ago, he had been helping an enthusiastic group of young people defend their walls. They had set up traps and an efficient alarm system. He was teaching them how to fight with swords and sticks in the mornings. They were getting there. Tonight however a small party had arrived when Erik was away patrolling the border. The village was remote enough to get excited by new visitors, who according to rumors were kind but rather secretive. All manner of romantic tales were being spun and spread around. They amused Erik but it also put him on edge. Paranoid, Charles would have smiled at him, constant vigilance Erik would have snapped back and made his smile even broader. He could see Sean walking towards him with a sleepy look on his face. He greeted him with a yawn and slumped against the wall.Relieved of his duty, Erik stopped on

long enough to make sure the man would not fall asleep and then hurried towards his house. His rooms were not that far away, a small hut had been given to him for the duration of his stay by the villagers to thank him for his services. He sighed as he unlocked the door and prepared himself for the chilly and dark inside. Instead he was welcomed by a blazing fire and a figure seated in the armchair nearest to it.

For a second Erik couldn’t believe his eyes. He stared, and shut his mouth open with an audible snap when he realized he was gaping.

“Charles” he breathed.

“Hello old friend” the King smiled bitterly, “are you quite finished running away, or do you need another head start”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Resolutionsssss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is the final chapter, thank you for reading! This one is slightly longer than the previous ones but hopefully that is okay!! Also I can't for the life of me write smut! How do you do it?? I tried and I was defeated alas.

Erik wondered at the distance that had grown between them over the months as they sat near the fire behaving as if they were mere acquaintances who had managed to stumble upon each other in the snow. Every question that sprung to Erik's lips seem to be weighed down by years of friendship, heartache and love. Charles sat there ignoring him in favour of the wine Erik had poured for him in a desperate bid to move and act. He sat there drinking in the sight of that familiar face after almost a year. Charles looked gaunt and tired, there was dark bruises beneath his eyes, he seemed colder, reserved. He could find no traces of the familiar warmth in the set lines of his face. Erik knew he would be upset, he had prepared himself for the inevitable confrontation. He had expected anger and disappointment, he had no defence against this silence.

"How did you find me here Charles?" he asked, clearing the lump that was forming in his throat.

For a second he feared that his question would go unanswered, but then Charles turned his head towards them, a mocking expression in his eyes

"You insult me darling, you make it sound like I was ever ignorant about your whereabouts" he said as he leaned back into his chair and stretched out his legs, "it was vastly entertaining to see you endanger yourself so recklessly" he smiled at him indulgently, "it got me by many a tedious evening"

"Charles" Erik replied partly stung and partly confounded by the stranger sitting in front of him,

"No really" the King interrupted, "the question has occupied my attention for months" here his eyes hardened and his mouth twisted bitterly,  
"surely our friendship should have warranted a better treatment than that, one would expect atleast the courtesy of a proper goodbye"

"I had my reasons" Erik replied tight lipped, latent anger was quickly rising to the surface of his emotions.

"Oh I am sure you did, far be it from Erik Lehnsherr to ever err or ever act without reasons" Charles almost spat out the word, "did you ever pause to think about the consequences of your actions" he continued voice rough with suppressed emotions, "about the people you left behind without a word?" 

"I knew you would be fine" Erik replied in the choked pause after Charles's last statement, "you had each other, everything was at peace..there was nothing left for me to do" he could feel his eyes burn, "I was no longer needed there" he finally mustered up the courage to look into the other man's eyes, "so I found places where I was"

"Fuck you Erik" Charles pushed himself off the chair, eyes blazing with hurt and anger. 

The shadows in the room seemed to lengthen as his presence filled the room, pushing against the creaking walls of the hut like a storm about to burst.

"You do not have the right to make these assumptions on the behalf of others", the air seemed to crackle with energy, "you don't get to be an asshole and then get to play the victim" Charles took a step towards him, "fuck you" he snarled right in his face. 

Erik was quickly losing his reign over his temper, Charles's hurt and betrayal battering against him like so many arrows, he took a step closer to him leaning into his space menacingly, ignoring the almost imperceptible look of shock that appeared on the man's face and the subsequent darkening of his eyes.

"Oh forgive me your Royal Highness, I should have stayed put in the palace like all of your other pawns and pretended that everything was fine while the outlying villages burned and people died because you" he could feel the metal in the room singing to him, vibrating with his anger which was pouring out of him in uncontrollable torrents, "were too busy playing at love to do your job".

He ignored the look of genuine shock and pain that distorted Charles's face as he flinched away from him, "because you believed that a mere treaty could erase the centuries of bloodshed and hatred that has existed between the kingdoms. By Indra Charles" he ran a hand over his face, "your idealism and naiveté sicken me. You can't imagine a world where things don't go your way, so I will not apologize for leaving. It was necessary. I am not your slave, the Elementals were always independent and I don't answer to you" he shouted.

Charles sat down abruptly in his chair, the power sizzling in the air fading. His features were contorted by anguish and there were tears rolling down his face, and just like that Erik could feel all the anger drain from his body. 

"Charles I.."

"Save yourself the indignity Erik" the familiar blue eyes started at him started at him, raw and exposed, "if I knew you had such a low opinion of me I should never have come" he said and buried his face in his hands. 

Bereft of his anger Erik abruptly felt the injustice of what he had said. His mother had always warned him about his temper and his tendency to break things, and here he was, standing helplessly after ruining the one relationship he prized above all else. The one relationship that had kept him human. He could not stop himself as he knelt next to Charles's feet, head bowed, afraid to touch him but needing to be close. 

"I am sorry" he whispered after what seemed like eons.

"For what, for abandoning me? believing the worst of me? or for implying that I am some kind of a hedonistic lush" 

"For everything, I was foolish and I was angry and I misspoke. You are one of the best rulers this land has seen, one of the best men"

They sat in silence thus for a few minutes until Erik finally heard Charles sigh deeply and felt his fingers in his hair in an achingly intimate and familiar gesture. He lifted his face to stare at Charles, whose expression although still raw was immeasurably tender.

"We received your missive about Shaw" he said softly, "Raven is looking into the matter as we speak, there seems to be a mole in our communication systems" his expression hardened, "the palace has received no reports about anything amiss in the Outlands. Someone has been doctoring the reports, Logan is riding to the West as we speak to personally deal with the matter"

At the mention of the name, Erik gently withdrew away from Charles. He got up and took his former seat opposite him. He poured himself another goblet of wine from the decanter, attempting to compose himself before he could return Charles's inquisitive glance. 

"I do believe congratulations are in order" he smiled briefly at him and found that he could not hold his gaze and returned to his wine.

"I am not sure what you are referring to" Charles was regaling him with a slightly confused expression on his face.

"Your impending nuptials of course, the whole kingdom is abuzz with the news"

"Oh? I am afraid I can't yet accept your felicitations yet, no formal offer has been made yet" Charles stood up from his chair and came to stand before him, "in fact, I came here hoping you would convince me otherwise"

Erik almost jumped up in surprise, and looked up to see Charles smiling down at him tentatively. 

"I don't understand" he finally said, his cognitive functions were failing him, he refused to let himself hope. There was nothing to it.

It was Charles who kneeled in front of him now. He took away the goblet from Erik and placed it on table, taking his hands into his own as his eyes searched his face intently. Erik could feel his heart pounding in his chest, a strange feeling was blossoming in him as he stared at his beloved's face, it felt oddly like coming alive, like casting off death.

Charles raised his hands to his lips and kissed them, once and twice and again and again till every part of Erik's body was set aflame and he throbbed with want. 

"Charles" he whispered hoarsely, stilling him and forcing him to look at him.

"Erik" he replied a little breathlessly, "stop me if I am wrong in this" and he sat up and leaned into his space, lips almost touching, both of them breathing each other in. Erik's eyes fluttered close as he impatiently lurched forward to close the distance between them.

The first few kisses were hesitant explorations, soft brushes of lips that sent thrills down Erik's spine. Then their lips parted and Charles licked his way into Erik's mouth and both of them moaned. Erik sucked at his tongue refusing to give it back, revelling in the low whines and moans that were building at the back of Charles's throat. They grabbed at each other trying to get closer and closer groaning as their groins rubbed against each other. Their mouths met again and again hot and wet and desperate till Erik was drowning in the taste and smell of Charles's skin and his mouth and his moans. Their breaths were shallow as they thrust against each other, till they were tearing at each other's clothes, trying to get past the layers that separated them and they were skin to skin. There was no thinking as they acquainted themselves with each other again, biting and tasting and marking, thrusting against each other blindly till they both came together spent and sated but refusing to move away from each other. 

Afterwards as they lay together in Erik's room on the soft furs of his bed, entwined together and happy for the first time in months, Erik wondered what he had done to deserve this. They lay there trading sleepy kisses and caresses till Charles withdrew a little from him, eyes serious, "why did you leave?"

Erik could not help but steal another kiss from him, "because I felt you did not want me" 

"That is absurd, I always want you" Charles shifted and draped himself over him, "in fact I feared I would perish in my desire for you" he pressed an open mouthed kiss against against his lips, "you left and you took the better part of me with you" 

Erik wrapped his arms around his lover and breathed in his scent, "that night, before I left, you seemed so happy and far and complete and then Logan.."

Charles nipped at his ear admonishingly, "I was drunk and I was convinced that you did not love me. When you disappeared during the party I was sure you had already found someone to share your night" he looked a little sheepish, "Moira had to drag me away from the mead to avoid a spectacle, and I barely remember anything after"

"But afterwards, you were with Logan" Erik tried to keep the accusatory tone away from his voice but some of it must have seeped through because Charles stiffened against him, 

"You had left without a word, I did what I felt was right" he held Erik's gaze, "I do not love him Erik, he is not my other half."

Erik could feel a lump rise in his throat, "I have not known love till I met you"

Charles pulled away from him briefly, "come home with me, I can not do this without you, I do not wish to do this without you" he cupped Erik's face in his hand and placed a finger against his lips before he could protest, "soldiers have been posted at all the outposts which were left unguarded, they can guard the place in your stead."

Erik couldn't help it, he drew the finger in his mouth and sucked, swirling his tongue around it. Charles shivered slightly and a small moan escaped his lips,

"I am yours" Erik said, "for as long as you will have me"

"Forever then" Charles whispered against his lips, and words were unnecessary for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is it!!!! Thank you so much for following through!! Sorry if the ending is a tad abrupt o.o  
> And apologies if this was overly dramatic, bollywood music tends to do that! I can't stop imagining Erik and Charles in the mushiest songs and it is taking over my life!! 
> 
> Anyway, criticisms and feedback are always helpful :D Thank you for reading!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback is always helpful o.o 
> 
> You can come say hi to me or give me prompts here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/weepywillowap  
> Is that how you link??? Who knows?


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